Happybunni21 on Datingish

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Thursday, 25 September 2008

I'm pondering.... again.......

So today was an OK kind of day. Went to work, evening shift, and got back to the residence an hour ago. Chillin here reading my luvly romance novel and eating some Milano cookies. :) Ecstasy. And I remembered being somewhat silly yesterday, and asking mr. fatman if he would marry me. I wanted to see what it felt like cause I find it really gutsy for guys to do that. To ask someone to spend the rest of their life with you. I mean, it's very very bold. I almost threw up trying to spit such a sentence out lol. But it was pretty kool getting a "Yea, sure, definitely". I can somewhat understand why it would be a bit bad to hear, "I have to think about it." or "I'm not ready yet." lol There is one thing that is a bit crazy for my week though, and you all know, from previous posts, that something "strange" does happen to me. Or maybe, I take it as strange. His mother called me a few days ago but I missed the call. So, I get the voice message and I hear, "Hey Izzi, it's ma. ......." Ma?! Ma. What's this foreign term !?!!!!?!? Is she calling me child!? Her child? Her daughter-in-law!!?!!!!!!??!?? Here I go over thinking again. Much of what you readers may not know of me, my mother is no longer around. Hasn't been for a while so me and the term do not really.... understand or know each other very well. So hearing a woman call me this can freak me out insanely. ok.... maybe only 10 minutes BUT STILL!!!

N e poop, I'm excited! It's Friday tomorrow, it's going to rain and I get to enjoy a nice looooooonnnng weekend! I've been enjoying the thought of working to better my life somehow. And to create an even better life for me and a fatman. But then again, I'm trying not to look ahead but it's better than thinking about my past and dealing with my present issues. I know this is why I read my crappy romances. To see someone else's life go through ONE struggle, ONE relationship quarrel and ONE marriage for their entire life to live happily ever after. I think everyone lives happily ever after. Well.... that's my post.

Question to you all: What's the best date you ever been on with your former or current SO?

Saturday, 20 September 2008

Guys with this girl thing of ours....

**** FAIR WARNING TO THE MALES THAT MAY READ THIS. THIS DOES HAVE EXPRESSION OF MENSTRUAL CYCLES ****

So, I will admit, I am a baby when I get my luvly Aunty Flo every couple of months. Thanks to Seasonique it's only every 3. But I do not get the normal cramp here and there. I get dehydration, vomiting, sweats and passing out here and there for one whole day. Now, I will admit, I myself hate it. Hate it to the point where I don't mind getting a hysterectomy. Yes.... that much. I don't like dealing with it. Missing work cause of it, asking or pleading for some type of help for it. Feeling helpless from it. Not being able to take normal advil or mydol cause of it. Just can't stand it.

Problem being, every guy I've dated didn't care. Just let me get sick and now and then call to check up. Now to have this one in my life is a bit different. Bring the gatorade, puke bucket, drags to the ER if needed. All that luvly crap. But hates hearing the theory of a hysterectomy. Now what's in my head is, why are you mad at this. This is an actual cure. The other option is to have a kid. My family has this problem too and this is what has worked for them to stop it. I don't like the thought of the last option so it's not going down. Every guy would throw a party at the fact of girl not wanting kids, or at least a good majority of them. He though, is placing bets on me and him making it that far. As you all know of me so far, I'm still in the shock mode of a guy lasting this long and betting on it with me. Plus, really fighting on me with the thought of kids. I mean really!!!! I'm not ready or willing to share my life with a child. I don't like them honestly, please call me whatever you'd like. But I don't find them appealing. Cute and all yes, but I'm selfish with my life and not ready to give up mine.

My fatman understands this but he believes that my mind will change. That's fine. He could believe that if he'd like. But who's to say he'll wait for that day to happen. I'm not one to put my hopes up on stuff cause of it either. It's just.... there this great guy, caring, helpful, wants the American family dream. But I'm going through all these bad routes and you see that I'm finding other ways of getting out of your dream for my selfish reasons, why hang on to the hope? We agree to live for the now cause we're not guaranteed tomorrow, but he'll throw out the thoughts of, "Don't be surprised if I put a small box on you're desk at work and walk away." or "Even if we don't make it, I'm going to have a kid with you." ??!?!!!?!?!!!!???!?!??***?*&?&&?????!?!?@#?#@?#?$#?$?@??????? I'm not one for hope but I get a bit excited and angry. I'm happy to know someone will want these things with, it's flattering, but I'm not for putting the hope up so don't do it or say it. Excuse for him: "I can't help it. It's how I feel."

Maybe I'm just ranting because of my girl issues, but really am I going mad people!?!!?! Does this seem crazy?!

AND P.S. - THANK YOU SOOOO SOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL THE OPINIONS AND REVIEWS!!!! I APPRECIATE IT! THIS IS HELPFUL IN MANY WAYS AND I LUV THE THOUGHT OF BEING ABLE TO EXPRESS MY MADNESS AND GETTING SOME TYPE OF UNDERSTANDING FROM EVERYONE.

Saturday, 13 September 2008

Another Single Saturday Night

Though I am in a relationship, I call it single because I feel like I am. Most of my friends are busy somewhat and my other friends either "can't come out" or just are too lazy. Also, I do like going out on my own. One thing I would suggest if you ever do go visit NYC, go to 42nd st on a Saturday night by yourself. Believe me when I tell you, you won't feel lonely at all lolol I luv walking around, getting a beef patty at the Port Authority and a pretzel from Aunt Anne's and then some Jamba and then a movie. It's just relaxing to me. I mean, yea, all the crowding is annoying BUT I know my short cuts so believe me when I say, I do have fun on my own. Then tomorrow I'm going to do my hair and get ready for my first day at work on Monday. Am I nervous, no. But, I am ready because this is my first step on working on moving out and getting my luvly life on track. As for my fatman, he works on these days, that's fine as well. I can accept that and I wouldn't want it any other way. He's doing him and I'm doing me. Sure we have our nights out. I enjoy them just as much as any other person. But sometimes I wish we had those normal working schedules. I mean, this new job is giving me that, so if he could get one then I think we could have more of those.

No questions today. Just a randomn post. BUT you all know I'll have a question sometime this week. Have a great weekend ya'll, I will!

Monday, 08 September 2008

His mom and him are close... whoa....

I want to start this off by saying that I do have some parental problems but I will always give anyone else's parent the most utmost respect in the world. Now my thing is, him and his mom have a decently close relationship. They talk about everything going on in their lives. Including me sometimes. Now I will never fight with him in front of her. Whatever OUR problems are should be known to us. In the street I don't care cause they're strangers and don't matter to me. But her, never. Now the other problem would be, since they talk about everything, is HE talking to her about our fights and does she look at me in a different light every time I see her? This makes me wonder if she thinks of me as this crazy girl that fights with her son but "seems" so nice in front of her. Now I know she doesn't care a lot of the time but I wonder if it bothers her. I know I'm wrong a lot of the time and I wonder if she knows that I know this.

My question for the world, do you guys ever think that your SO's parent may look at you differently at times but fake it to be nice? Do parents take sides on their children's relationships? Do you think your SOs parents take sides when they know you're fighting? Weird question I know, but it makes sense.

Friday, 29 August 2008

Is there a quitter in yours?

Once again, my negative aura messed up not only my evening and my bf's but my cellphone as well. Last night I was watching The Moment of Truth and I asked my bf if you could give a cubic zirconian to someone and lie to them saying it's a diamond would you? He asked why and I said it's just a question nothing to crazy on it just an answer would be cool. Well there started our blow out which wasn't too great but by the end of the night my phone was thrown at the radiator and the whole thing just broke apart along with the screen. I have an anger management problem. I've known that for 5 years now. That's not my issue. My issue is, if I can acknowledge it and give you fair warning to just give this up now cause I might not be getting better at directing it anytime soon wouldn't you take it and run?! I am the quitter in this relationship. If things get horrible tough and difficult I feel as though I should save him and run away. He thinks I'm rediculous but I have messed up many relationships and friendships before so I am a bit wary with this one. I'm trying to stop being this way and I'm a lot better than last year lol. But I wonder.... is there a quitter in every relationship? Is there someone always a bit hesitant and ready to quit more than the other. I feel like a guy cause of this from what I know. But who knows.... Help. Than again, I'm grateful and I'll figure it out.