Once again, my negative aura messed up not only my evening and my bf's but my cellphone as well. Last night I was watching The Moment of Truth and I asked my bf if you could give a cubic zirconian to someone and lie to them saying it's a diamond would you? He asked why and I said it's just a question nothing to crazy on it just an answer would be cool. Well there started our blow out which wasn't too great but by the end of the night my phone was thrown at the radiator and the whole thing just broke apart along with the screen. I have an anger management problem. I've known that for 5 years now. That's not my issue. My issue is, if I can acknowledge it and give you fair warning to just give this up now cause I might not be getting better at directing it anytime soon wouldn't you take it and run?! I am the quitter in this relationship. If things get horrible tough and difficult I feel as though I should save him and run away. He thinks I'm rediculous but I have messed up many relationships and friendships before so I am a bit wary with this one. I'm trying to stop being this way and I'm a lot better than last year lol. But I wonder.... is there a quitter in every relationship? Is there someone always a bit hesitant and ready to quit more than the other. I feel like a guy cause of this from what I know. But who knows.... Help. Than again, I'm grateful and I'll figure it out.
Comments (8)
I think the important thing is that you can acknowledge it. A lot of people have anger management issues, and I think in relationships there will be moments where you are ready to blow the haystack. Even people who have been married more than 30 years may still have anger management problems, but that's just one of the many facets that make up the relationship. There are also loving moments, misunderstanding moments, make-up sex moments
, etc..
Does he also have issues that he needs to work on? I don't believe there's a quitter in every relationship. Some relationships last forever even though they may not be perfect. I think what makes a relationship last long is unconditional love, total understanding, lots of compassion, honesty, etc.. If the issues aren't so huge or don't consume the relationsip, then the relationship doesn't necessarily have to end over the.
I guess I was in my Dr. Phil mode this morning. lol
@melsie - That's ok. I like Dr. Phil, he's cool in some weird way. He's got issues too NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT ONE. lol I can understand relationships lasting forever. I've seen few but I know they're out there. Ii just wouldn't believe it happening to me. my perception of arguments are sooo huge when they're really small though. lol I have a bad.... way of thinking like that. Thank you for the help though Phil :p
@principessadolce@xanga - See I hate the fact though, that he can defuse it period. I feel like I'm competing with myself to find something that he can't defuse. It's wrong. I know this. I just wonder if there are other people, women, that are somewhat in that same kind of, "Run now or forever hold your peace of mind" Thank you though for the encouragement. And I am trying to hang on to him tightly.
hey, everyone gets scared in a relationship. you're lucky to have someone who sees you more than your problem, don't run away. maybe once the anger blows over you could make him feel special again. and... it's anger management, so from what i've learned, it's not an impossible situation, just takes some waiting and working, and it's easier if you find someone who can teach you techniques to get beyond the behaviour pattern. ;)
I think if a person wants to be with someone else, and they're together...the whole line about wanting to "save him from yourself" generally speaking not just specifically is a line of bs, I'm sure he sees your problem, and accepts you for it, else he wouldn't' be there in the first place! you're only human (assumption) and he has problems too, just don't feel too bad about your own
lol idk if I could take 8 months of that lol but I see what you mean
thanks for the comment and encouragement!
Well, it sounds like he also had a hand in making you upset. Find out why you got so mad. If it's something trivial, then you can acknowledge that and move on. If however, his answer to your question, be it yes or no, or the refusal to answer, really upset you and you can't figure out why, you need to talk it out with him. Although expressing your emotions is a good thing, the problem with anger is that it can be blinding (ie leading to the destruction of your phone). Understand that although it is alright to be angry, being that angry is unhealthy.
P.S. sorry for the late reply.
I always thought the guy was always the quitter. However since I'm in my first serious relationship (the kind that actually thinks about marriage and the future), I feel that I find myself being the quitter wannabe. I grew up always needing to be perfect, always planning things out so I know exactly what would happen. Yeah, you can't find out exactly what will happen in life I know that but with my boyfriend, I have no idea where it could go except that I like being a part of his life and him in mine. I've given him lots of reasons why he may not end up with me and he hasn't been phased by any of my advances. He actually tells me that I'm stuck with him. Of course, unless I wasn't into him anymore but that is far from the truth. I'm just afraid that I'll fail at making him happy. I think I'm more afraid of making his life miserable than him making mine miserable. I've put up with a lot of crap in my life so I'm not afraid of adding more crap to my life. But I fear I would put crap into another person's life so I would rather leave his door open so he can leave when he wants to, sooner than later. Sounds bad though when you think of it like that. I guess I just have self-esteem problems. Still, he doesnt falter at those attempts and I end up holding onto him tighter. Is this healthy?